Celebration: Oh, the weather outside is frightful …

By Peggy Kessinger

Photo by Harvey Thomas at Plumper Tree Farm

Like most families, our family has many rituals – most are so routine that we don’t even notice them, others are seasonal, some are loosely held and others are sacred cows, so to speak. Living on a farm adds to the sense of rhythm in our lives.

The holiday season has rituals that are both mundane and profound. It is interesting that as I get older, I’d like to get out fewer decorations for the season changes. You know, less work and all. But, I’ve learned that putting out the holiday decorations is a mandatory ritual for our family. If life gets too busy and it just doesn’t seem to be happening in a timely fashion, one of the children will start pulling out the boxes. Since they can’t really do it by themselves, they pull others into the process and next thing you know, whether it is a convenient time for all or not, we have the Christmas CDs blaring and lights strung all over the house and we don’t stop until everything is just right.

As for the tree itself, that is yet another family adventure that may or may not be tied with getting out all the other decorations. It is a separate event. Since we own a Christmas tree farm, most of the family spends weekends outside helping others with their tree ritual. We’re involved with helping shake and bale the tree and getting it on the car to insure the tree makes it to their home. As for our ritual, it is often a point of discussion for days beforehand trying to coordinate everyone’s schedule. Everyone has to be here together to cut down our tree and with seven of us, that can be a monumental task even if we are all actually on the property at the same time. Anyway, eventually, we round everyone up. This usually takes several iterations even after we’ve agreed on the general date and time. Someone gets the camera and we are off, just like our other customers in search of the perfect tree. Much discussion entails about various shape and species preferences, but eventually someone is down on their knees hand sawing the tree. Though we always have a backup chainsaw to even things out later, the tree is always cut by hand with much pride. Lots of photo posing with our Santa hats and Reindeer headbands ensue before we carry the tree up to the house.

Of course, there is all the hustle and bustle of gift buying. Our family writes lists to give to each other about what we might actually like this year and we really use these lists to make our decisions. My sister-in-law informed me that this is one of her favorite things about our family, that she might actually receive things that she requested. I guess that wasn’t her experience in her family. Anyway, we also adopt a family each year and interestingly that family usually has lots of children with ages similar to ours. Though we don’t all go together to shop for the family, we make it a point to deliver the treasures together. One year, as we drove around looking for the house to make the delivery, it dawned on us that we’d been there before on a previous holiday excursion. Because of the similarity of children’s ages, we’d ended up with the same family! We’ve had lots of experiences with this as it has taken us to very different areas of town and even to homes that are nicer than ours. Boy did we have questions to answer that year.

When the big day actually arrives, we wake up early – I think we’ve successfully pushed the time from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. now that the kids are older. Already this year, my oldest who just recently moved out asked about spending Christmas Eve at home so that she could be here for the early morning rush as it unfolds. Anyway, no one can enter the living room until everyone is up and ready. Then, we enter to find that Santa has left each a special gift that wasn’t there when we went to bed the night before that is set separately from the tree. After opening those gifts and checking out how many cookies Santa ate and what might be in our stockings, we head for the tree. Each family member claims their place and gifts are distributed to all before anyone can open any of them. NEXT, it is total chaos as everyone opens their presents at once exclaiming delight and shouting thanks as cameras click in between the mayhem. These photos are never quite artistic looking and not really shown too many, but they do give a feel for the mayhem that ensues.

Later, there are family and friends that join us for a traditional meal and games. Did I mention games? We are a gaming family. We love games – board games, card games, strategy games. The day is devoted to gaming and I don’t mean the ones on the screens. We may have one, two or three different games going at the same time well into the evening. And though the holidays aren’t the only time this happens, it is part of the tradition and the charm of Christmas at our house.

Finally, we make our way to our one bedroom cabin for a few days of relaxation and time off. This is precious time for our family. It is amazing how close proximity and poor weather make strange but wonderful bedfellows. We truly relax in each other’s company. Some may read at different times and lots of games are played, but we are all literally together and there is this ebb and flow where we just are together in different configurations, but together. Time slows down, stress gives way to calm and pretty soon interesting conversations spontaneously begin or massages are offered or rough housing gets out of hand. These times are precious and provide a level of bonding that many of the other traditions only strive to reach. I love this calm between Christmas and New Year’s when we take a break together.

Then, for New Year’s it wouldn’t be the holiday season if we didn’t join my husband’s extended family in the Midwest. I didn’t know when I married 25 years ago that every Christmas season involved a trip to see his family, but it does and wouldn’t be Christmas without it. Though all four siblings live in different states, we all come to the agreed destination which now rotates since the folks passed. There are more than 20 of us with all the kids, cousins, grandkids and all. We have a marvelous time laughing and catching up. One year, a snow storm only allowed two families to get together rather than the 5 that usually come and no one wants a repeat of that. Last year, we went to the state where there was a baby due on Jan. 4th since that family obviously couldn’t travel. This year, we are so excited to return to Kansas where it all started and to be able to see the miracle of our 21 year old hero who survived a cracked skull and appendicitis since August. He’ll be a primary focus, but really it is about being with FAMILY and none of us would miss it for the world.

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